So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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