"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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