But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
