he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I am one with the molecules
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize