yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
