dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
You don't make any sense
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