What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
