So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
