My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
