Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Randomize
