I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
