I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
