one might say we're banned from that church
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I want a musical about memes.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
