I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
