Dude my mom stole all your condoms
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize