No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
