batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
