i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I believe in your delicious
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
