i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
