found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
