Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
