Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
