I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize