I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
