okay pat passed out under dana's car
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It's official drugs can't kill me
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
