is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
