Whod you bang
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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