is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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