writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize