We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
