I am puke
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
