one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
