Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
