i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize