He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
