Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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