i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
love makes seman taste better
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
