Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
