Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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