I feel like abortions should bother me more
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
