Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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