So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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