I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
