no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Also, beer. Big fan.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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