if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
