Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
