yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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