just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
