They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
