508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
