He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
