i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
As shirtless as possible
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
