You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I feel great
I just peed on a car
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
