we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
