So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
