Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.

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(440): View more from Ohio

New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."

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(516): View more from New York

I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"

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(318): View more from Louisiana

Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"

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(305): View more from Florida

Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.

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(512): View more from Texas

I want to ride his face like a jet ski

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(218): View more from Minnesota

She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.

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