Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.

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(541): View more from Oregon

its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.

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(720): View more from Colorado

he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again

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(415): View more from California

i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him

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(585): View more from New York

We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.

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(541): View more from Oregon

When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner

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(248): View more from Michigan

you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"

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