wat bout pragnant strippers??
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
