Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
