I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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