fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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