Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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