woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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