i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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